A ball of imperial proportions
Hmm, I think i’ve signed my own diarrhoea warrant. Just ate a fish pastry that smelled a bit dodgy, from a shop that has in the past given me, among other things, diarrhoea. But then its the closest shop to where i work, its about a 25 meter walk. The next closest shop is at least 15 meters further away. But then, if i can survive the Imperial Ball’s delightful Sri Lankan buffet, I can survive most things. Wait, I’ve never got through an imperial ball with my bowels unscathed. Let me tell you, it’s an utter bitch sharing a small flat (for the night) with about 10 other buggers and fighting to get to the toilet first. Specially when girls by default get right of way (who said there are no similarities between girls and buses?).
Other ordeals of the imperial ball are; 1) getting dressed, 2) choosing what to wear, 3) what to do with the hair etc. Happily for me i answer these questions in a fairly prompt manner. 1) 5 mins (of which 4 are devoted to the tie), 2) i have only one suit and few appropriately formal shirts 3) sod all. However being the popular chap that i am i don’t go to the imperial ball alone. I go with the ppl who are kind (sympathetic) enough to let me crash at their place. Girls are usually good fun, but they have their drawbacks, dressing up is one of them. The process begins around 4pm (on a good day) and after much wrapping and unwrapping of sarees, doing and undoing of hair, nasty safety pin accidents and much yelling, they’re dressed by around 8, which is late. So we then proceed to run (limp) to the nearest tube station, saree potas in hand and many complaints of aching souls. The imperial ball day is one of the many days that i am happy to be male.
Nonetheless Imperial balls are great fun, I went to a uni where Sri Lankans are fairly scarce. So its quite nice to bump into half of cis and other schools on the same night, do the usual “adooo how you bugger??”, dance to some good baila, eat some sri lankan food in suitably large quantities (despite the consequences), and best of all to just party with your good friends who you haven’t seen in a few months. In that sense it’s fairly similar to 31st night at galle face, or a clancys on a tuesday night (back in the day, not now). Sometime next year i’ll hopefully be at my last imperial ball ever, must invest in some immodium just in case they don’t change the caterers.
