One one things

Yesterday I was at this do where there were 6 ministers, and some naval chap to boot. Two of them spoke and one passed around an envelope. The rest sat there looking bored, had tea and buggered off. Our friend Dougie D was one of the buggers looking bored. Now if the LTTE put a small cracker there, christmas only for them. I was sitting there losing all my body fluids through sweat and pissing myself in fear. That event could have easily done with just one minister, that would have saved everyone a lot of hassle and given the LTTE a far smaller incentive to blow something up. I don’t understand why these MP chaps can’t just stay at home without showing up for totally unnecessary gigs. I’m sure the tea in the respective ministries is perfectly good, why else would the bureau buggers take so many tea breaks? Ministers ought only go for extremely useful things, which I’m sure if fairly limited, and if they stay in one place it’s a lot easier to look after them and look after us at the same time.

Yesterday afternoon I was driving towards thummulla. At the junction near Bloomfield the traffic light was on green, so I went along when in the corner of my eye I saw this green chap on a motorbike. I first thought buggeroo the aliens have come to Colombo after conquering the South and Thanamalvila. (Time for a quick digression; I was reading the Mirror article about these alien chaps and it was a hoot. Now apparently Sri Lanka’s alien researchers were called into Thanamalvila to investigate the alleged flying pierissiya incident, and these chaps had happily enough come across a couple of 2 foot tall aliens. At which point they had approached them with clubs in hand and when they attempted to lunge at one alien they had buggered off. Fair enough too. Who’d want to hang around when a research chap comes at you with a club. So these badboys at Thanamalvila have had the first human-alien contact, but, despite being good research chaps they had forgotten to take their cameras. Demn demn. Very unfortunate. The article in the mirror was written in all seriousness, which makes the whole thing completely baffling. Those buggers must be quite comprehensively off their heads. Ticked off that I failed to preserve a cutting for my archives of funny funny things in SL papers, I have one article about a guy who shot his uncle mistaking him for an animal rummaging the bush. Don’t ask me what the uncle was doing in the bush. Only in SL I tell you.)

The green chap on the bike wasn’t an alien, but he was an outrider protecting the dear life of some guy who most probably went to savour some tea from outside. I slammed the brakes just in time as these buggers screamed through the red light almost killing everyone within crashing distance. The funny part was that the army guy who stood at the junction saying/doing nothing when the motorcade was about the race by, had the cheek to wave his hand at me in a kanay para manner. Ministerial motorcades are just evil, and often like broken pencils; pointless. The other day I was driving when a motorcade went past all, sirens blazing and disrupting the peace as ever. Hena convoy also so I thought must be some major bugger. I went behind them a bit when the motorcade turns into a tiny looking building. To see it’s the minister of Coconut development. Now even the LTTE who love blowing shit up wouldn’t bother killing a bugger who has as a good a chance of dying if a coconut hit his head whilst inspecting the estates.

Our buggers one thing.