One one things

Poor form these days. I’ve just been through 15 pages of mathematical dribble which concluded that the average Bangladeshi will increase consumption by about $1 if income increases by $1, and that if they have more access to credit that they will increase consumption by a greater amount. And the buggers use about 10 different models to prove this, GETS, ADF, BETS, FUKS..bloody jokers. And for good measure they rape Friedman, Modigliani and other consumption bad boys in the process.

In other poor news I managed to put my trousers into the washing machine with my Ipod in the pocket. I thought I had lost the bugger so I was looking round frantically when I came home to find it on the washing machine, clean as a whistle. As expected it didn’t work despite trying to tip the water out of it from all possible angles. That’s what happens when technology makes things smaller and smaller. I comfort myself knowing that it was a Shuffle, 2nd hand, and had served me for a good year after serving my flatmate for a couple of years before that. Doesn’t stop me being a monkey though. I miss it at work now, whenever my concentration would drop I’d put it on and listen to whatever was on the playlist for the day, and would be on the money fairly soon. The sound of the A/C seems louder now, almost drowning out my rumbling tummy.

As a final piece of worrying news, I’m increasingly suffering from road rage. Contrary to what most ppl think, driving in Colombo is a hoot. Never a dull moment with these trishaw buggers squeezing in from all over, competing with the car in the next lane as you both edge forward at the traffic light waiting to get ahead when the green comes on and of course avoiding pot holes and the mad buggers who jump into the middle of the road and grin. At which point you can’t help but grin back, shrug your shoulders, and keep driving. It’s life and death at the best of times but I can’t help but enjoy it. If I had to drive in some place like England I’d be lost, what with all the order, ridiculous. Sadly of late I think it’s been getting to me. I’ve been swearing to myself, putting the shutter down and gesticulating, giving mock kaney paras and generally being a bit of a chav.

The other day I had just left home and was driving down my road when thadang, hena noise like i’d been slapped by a saucepan. To see the car coming on the other lane had whacked my side mirror, which duely snapped onto my shutter. Thankfully the shutter was up bc it was hot, normally I avoid the A/C bc I spend the whole day in a A/C room so its nice to get some fresh air. Anyway after the initial 3 seconds of shock I looked back to see the other bugger had stopped about 30 yards down the road. I felt my blood boiling and I reversed all the way back. Now all the three wheel buggers on the road know me so they were up in arms running to the other car and making the person get down and generally looking rather menacing. Then an oldish woman steps out looking nervous as hell. My heart melts and I walk up to her and ask her if everything is ok and whether her car is damaged. Not a scratch it seems. I still dont know whose fault it was, and she didn’t seem to know what was going on so I said ok let’s leave it and we went off. It’s quite funny that the only two (touch wood, thuk thuk thuk) accidents I’ve had so far have been down my own road.

But yes, all this angst is I think due to the weather. Seriously the timing is awful. It’s nice and sunny all day, and then 5′ o clock when I’m out of work and driving home the clouds form like some army that is really peeved about something or the other. Then just when I get home and strap up the doggie for her walk the rain falls down in buckets. By around 6 when I’m ready to go for a swim gadugudas the thunder and lightning take over. The other day I was so desparate I went to the pool anyway. Within a few minutes the pool attendent comes looking like mother superior.

PA(MS): *clap* *clap*
Me: Moko aunty?
PA(MS): Pissuda oy?
Me: Aiyooo aunty…
PA(MS): eliyata enna, haiyo lamayo.

The lightning doesn’t allow me to watch the cricket either, not that it’s been flash (pun intended though it is bloody awful). I’ve been disappointed by the Champs trophy, not only bc SL is out but bc the standards of cricket have not been great. The matches have in general been one sided and plagued with really shoddy displays. For instance the West Indies batting against SL, Windies again tried their very best to lose to India despite having the match in the bag, Pakistan against SA, NZ against SL, SL against Pakistan, India in general. So many really ordinary matches, I guess the pitches and the dew haven’t helped, but it just seems everyone is lacklustre. But then it’s the Champion’s trophy and nobody really gives a shit do they? In other interesting cricket news Minki van der Westhuzian has been named cricket WAG of the year. w00t! Also not bad for Murali’s missus, beat a pop-star to second place. Excellent quote by the director of Stickcricket,

“Minki is a cricket fan’s dream woman. She’s sleek, sexy and with a successful career to boot. Cricketers attract a finer class of WAG. While football is a game for chaps copping off with Chavs, cricket is a game for gentlemen going out with goddesses.”

Quite right too. Yet another moment that I lament sacrificing a career in cricket for one as an economist. Buggeroo.